Sunday, March 6, 2011

Peace

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”  John 14: 26-27

It’s been a week and a day since we laid Julia to her rest.  I miss her so much!!!  But never have I felt so loved and cared for.  Everyone”s concern and love has been amazing.  God’s love is evident in the love we receive from other’s.  And we have deeply felt that.  I know your prayer’s have sustained us and have given us peace at this time.  Thank you!!!

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Morning of Feb. 26th, Julia’s burial day

We had a viewing and a grave side service for Julia on February 26th.  We had a beautiful morning covered in snow, that reminded me of Julia”s purity and innocence.  It was so wonderful to have so many friends and family show up for the viewing and grave side burial.  We’ve been touched by emails, blog postings, comments on face book, cards, calls, texts etc. The kindness and generosity has been amazing.  I suppose you don’t realize how many friends you have till something tragic happens in your life.  I feel like George Bailey in the movie It’s a Wonderful life.   Our Bishop conducted the Grave side Burial.  We sang Families can be together forever, our Bishop spoke and our four daughter’s gave thoughts on Julia and then Bill dedicated Julia’s grave. 

Bill’s sister Kate had twin boys that were born at 22 weeks about 15 years ago that were buried at the cemetery we chose for Julia.  We asked the cemetery if there was a spot near her cousins.  And amazingly there was a spot right next to them, and that is where we buried her.  It was a little easier knowing that we got to lay her next to her cousins. 

I was very nervous when Bill and I went to dress her for the viewing.  I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to let go of her and lay her to her rest.  But when we saw her she looked so different.  Julia wasn’t there, her spirit was truly separated from her body, and I was okay with letting her go.  I know that she will always be mine, and I can always keep her with me in my heart.  And I wouldn’t be surprised to know that she watches over us, maybe even now as I think of her.  It was a beautiful, peaceful sad day. 

I’m not exactly sure why this tragedy has happened to us.  I don’t blame or hate anyone because it has happened.  For whatever reason Julia only needed a short stay here on earth.  What an amazing spirit she must be.  I’m actually grateful for the way things all happened.  I think the duration of the six weeks prepared me for her passing.  I am confident and without regret for all that we did for Julia.  She had to go when she did.  And in the end I am so glad that she finally made the call herself.  What a little fighter she was.  Julia’s yeast infection is what got her in the end.  The doctor’s tried every anti-fungal medication that they knew of, even the adult ones, but nothing would touch the infection.  A yeast infection isn’t as big of a deal in an adult, but in a micro-preemie it is huge, because it can enter the blood stream and pollute the entire body.  Which it did with Julia.  I feel like swearing off yeast for a long  time.  I guess I’ll stick with tortillas and unleavened bread.  If you have ever seen what a little sugar will do to growing yeast, you can only imagine what it did to poor Julia.   I’ve learned more than I ever thought I would about preemie babies and the delicate balance that is required for their survival.  If you have ever met a 23 week baby that has survived, know that is one of God’s amazing miracles!!!!

Julia’s little life has touched me so deeply, she has truly left her little mark on the world.  Thank you for letting us share our tender experience with you all.  We love you!

God bless you all!

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Julia Dawn  Hansen

Obituaries

Julia Dawn Hansen, infant daughter of William Dredge Hansen and Erin Dawn Hartvigsen, died Friday, February 25, 2011. Graveside services will be held Saturday, February 26, 2011, 2:00 p.m. at Myers Evergreen Memorial Park, 100 Monroe Blvd., Ogden. Services under the direction of Myers Mortuary of Ogden.

15 comments:

Becky said...

She really has touched so many of us in her short life for good and we will all remember her and look forward to meeting her in the afterlife. I love you guys so much!

Turpin Times said...

Erin,

You and your family have been through so much! You are an inspiration to me. I am so glad I met you! I have no doubt that you will see Julia again and will get to raise her. She is a sweet, sweet spirit, and you are blessed to have her. It sounds like you are at peace with things, and I am so glad. I think of you and your family often. Thank you for updating!

Mindi Turpin (Ruby's Mom)

Melissa said...

Julia was an inspiring little person and I am glad I got to know her a little through your blog. I am glad everything went well for you at her funeral-it looked like a beautiful, peaceful day. I am so glad she is buried next to her cousins.

Kate said...

We love you all so much! Thanks for your testimonies through all of this!

Robinson Family said...

Your family is truly amazaing. Jess and I were talking hte other day and we both said we didn't know if we would ever have the faith that you guys have to get through something like that, but you have been huge examples to us and my testimony and faith has grown more than you will ever know from you and little Julia. What a blessing she is in your life. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you and your family. We are always here if you need anything. All our love The Robinsons

Derek said...

I don't know if you remember my husband and I but this Jamie Gundersen. I was sad to hear your Julia passed away. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so glad that my husband and I got to know you a little and wish that could have got to know you more. You are in our thoughts.
Jamie

The Cassel Family said...

♥ you guys. What an amazing little life.

Tara said...

I just happened to stumble upon your blog and could not stop the flow of tears as I read about little Julia's short journey here on earth. Jeff and I think the world of you and Bill and our prayers are with you and your family. It is truly a blessing to know our Heavenly Father's plan and to know that one day you will be able to hold that precious little one in your arms again. I truly believe that these little ones were saved for the last days because of their strength and their righteousness. Julia is one of those special spirits that was so eager to come to this earth to receive a body and to touch your life and the lives of those around you. We love you guys and admire your amazing faith and trust in the Lord. May the Lord's love be upon you and your family.

Johnson Family said...

We're still thinking of you. Thank you for sharing with us. Love you!

Karlie said...

Erin,
Thanks for taking the time to talk with me the other evening. You have such amazing faith and strength and I stand to learn alot from you and your family. I'm grateful to know that you are finding peace. I really meant it when I said that if you needed anything you could come over anytime. I hope you will when you are ready. ♥ Karlie

Sweetpea said...

Oh Erin and Bill, you have both been so amazing through all of this. I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Julia, but so glad that we know that you will be with her again someday, forever. I wish we could have been there to support you in person. Our prayers have been with yo, and continue to be. We love you all.

Julee said...

Erin, I am amazed at the strength of your faith. You truly are inspiring. My heart goes out to you and your family. Julia has a great purpose and she needed the strength of a great family to allow her to pass from this life. You are in our thoughts and prayers, we love you!

Dantzel said...

The scripture you quoted is my favorite ...I like to add verse 18 after verse 27--it says, "I will not leave you comfortless; I will come." I know you have felt His comfort and He has been there for you. We are all there for you and are amazed at your faith and attitude through your trial.

<3 The Walls

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